


closure (no such thing as)

by EllaYuki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, no I mean really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 08:29:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERS!!!After the dust clears and everything is back to how it should be, Clint goes back to Vormir for Natasha’s body.





	closure (no such thing as)

He goes back for her.

It takes him a few days, and a bit of arguing with people who think he should just let things be, but he's stubborn, and determined, and Bruce backs him up, too, and so he's able to go back for her. He tries to make it as close to the time of her fall, hoping (futilely, he knows) that maybe, _maybe_ he could still _somehow_ save her, resuscitate her, _something_ , if he's fast enough.

But his futile hopes are dashed to the winds.

Her eyes are open, pool of blood already dried about her unmoving body, and her skin has started to take on a gray-ish tint. Rigor has set in already. He's too late. He swears up a storm up towards the clouded skies.

It's a bit difficult to pick her up and give her back some dignity. It’s even harder when he can’t stop the tears.

At the bottom of the cliff, no one is around to hear him sob and apologize and curse every god there is. There's no one around to see his break down.

He's thankful, more than he can possibly say, that he has his family back, that his children aren't dust on the winds anymore. He’s thankful, grateful, ecstatic.

_And yet._

Somehow, despite their line of work, he never thought he would ever lose Nat. She's been through so much, survived so much, he never thought anything would ever be able to kill her. He always thought she'd outlive him by years and years. Natasha had always seemed invincible, even in her most vulnerable moments. Even when she was close to crumbling.

Maybe he should have seen this coming.

Maybe he should have tried harder.

...maybe he should have just… let himself fall with her, seen what would happen then.

A lot of maybes, but there’s nothing more he can do now. It’s too damn late.

He finally stops crying after long dreadful minutes, and so he starts preparing to activate the time travel device when something glimmers in the low light of Vormir, catching Clint's eye as he shifts Nat in his arms to hold her better.

With trembling fingers (and really, when was the last time his hands shook? When was the last time they were anything but sure and steady? He honestly can’t remember), he tugs on the bit of silver peeking out of Natasha's collar.

His vision instantly fills with new tears.

The tiny arrow is there, glistening faintly against his fingertips, and just like that, Clint's hearts shatters into a billion pieces all over again. " _Dammit_ , Nat," is the only thing that he can manage. "Dammit, dammit, dammit all! You just _had to_ be so damn stubborn, didn't you?" He rests his forehead against hers, fingers still against the small silver arrow at her throat, and lets out a shuddering breath. “You just couldn’t let me…”

A bitter laugh escapes him. _No. No, of course she wouldn’t_.

He presses a kiss to her now-cold forehead, activate the device.

And brings Natasha back home.

 


End file.
